So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize