can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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