woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
