Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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