I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
