I am spending my child support on dildos
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize