I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
