Tell her she can't have a vagina
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
