there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
