i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
