you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize