Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
you never un-have a 4some
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
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