so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize
