guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
