My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
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