my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Randomize
