He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Randomize
