Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
