it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
