Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
