for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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