You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize