THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
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I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
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He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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