i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Randomize
