that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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