I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
This is the high leading the old right now
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
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