I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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