I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize