nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
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