I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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