It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
A bitchslap is in order.
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