I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
