I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
he had hair everywhere except his balls
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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