I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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