you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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