that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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