oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house