i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver