Texts From Last Night

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  (314): View more from Missouri

  I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.

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  (314): I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt. http://tfl.nu/c3u1
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?

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  (205): I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas? http://tfl.nu/8ynt
  Replies (5) Good night (2564) Bad night (474) Order T-Shirt
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.

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  (502): oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us. http://tfl.nu/ayu5
  Replies (84) Good night (848) Bad night (4482) Order T-Shirt
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.

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  (732): doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn. http://tfl.nu/3kzi
  Replies (15) Good night (1389) Bad night (4857) Order T-Shirt
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.

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  (303): I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea. http://tfl.nu/cell
  Replies (41) Good night (767) Bad night (6310) Order T-Shirt
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  (760): View more from California

  My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?

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  (760): My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this? http://tfl.nu/9ow4
  Replies (8) Good night (7175) Bad night (833) Order T-Shirt
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  (716): View more from New York

  he got a rim job in the basement.

  (716): View more from New York

  apparently i was the one who gave it to him.

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  (716): he got a rim job in the basement. (716): apparently i was the one who gave it to him. http://tfl.nu/gzx7
  Replies (10) Good night (987) Bad night (4351)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....

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  (248): Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs.... http://tfl.nu/1yzr
  Replies (19) Good night (2759) Bad night (978) Order T-Shirt
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..

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  (414): Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well.. http://tfl.nu/jvza
  Replies (8) Good night (961) Bad night (1901) Order T-Shirt
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  (845): View more from New York

  well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back

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  (845): well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back http://tfl.nu/xxu5
  Replies (33) Good night (4116) Bad night (1259) Order T-Shirt
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  (952): View more from Minnesota

  So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.

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  (952): So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious (781): Oh my god you need to get off of facebook. http://tfl.nu/ws52
  Replies (10) Good night (3060) Bad night (982)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.

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  (406): I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price. http://tfl.nu/xxnk
  Replies (8) Good night (3038) Bad night (325)
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  (760): View more from California

  You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today

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  (760): You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today http://tfl.nu/u74i
  Replies (2) Good night (882) Bad night (371) Order T-Shirt
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.

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  (573): Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her. http://tfl.nu/nucq
  Replies (9) Good night (1082) Bad night (553) Order T-Shirt
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.

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  (720): We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out. http://tfl.nu/ioyx
  Replies (3) Good night (672) Bad night (200) Order T-Shirt

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