my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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