Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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