HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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