i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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