You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Randomize