why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
