I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
