On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
