I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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