I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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