oh fat girl friday strikes again...
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
This baby is an asshole
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
