You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
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