pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
