return my video game
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
