Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
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It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
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What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.