My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
These 23 People Had Coworkers From Hell
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
where are you?
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.