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you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
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