Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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