Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Randomize
