remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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