..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
