yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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