i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
