6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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