She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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